Enough with the Niceties: Time for Some Voyeurism

Here's fun game as the antidote to Hitler Jr. in the post below: What do all of these pictures of the Ingrahammer have in common?

All right, all right, if you want substance, here's the link to Laura's appearance on the Today Show last week.

The General vs. the Messiah: My Street Poem to Mahmoud

This, while still involving a "fantasy" of sorts, is quite a deviation from the usual Prowess content. While it's not likely to provoke the same kind of warmth and fuzziness that you get from the other features of the site, it still may help you blow off a little steam and know that you are not alone in your thoughts. I know how much better I felt after writing it.

*WARNING* This post is very graphic. That’s how you know it’s good.

The following have resulted from my learning that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will be entering the United States again with the permission from our State Department (update: since this writing, Ahmadinejad’s trip has been postponed, but I have no doubt he’ll be back). These subsequent remarks do not "introduce any fresh ideas", they do not contribute to any debate, they don’t assist any cause, and they are not appropriate for children. They are just an expression of how I really feel.

If I could stand on the street as Mr. A entered the United Nations I would YELL to him what I have written in the paragraph below:

"Get out of my country, you Hitler. You misogynistic pig sucker. Go back to your pit, you dirty smelly ape. I would love to clear my throat and then spit in your face. You should be shot in the head the next time you speak. You savage, you thug, you small, rabid mongrel. You are a throat cutter; your prophet was an incestuous child rapist, and your god is a brute.

Make sure you translate this, interpreters: ‘Fuck your Jihad, Fuck the 12th Imam, and Fuck your miscreant god.’

Yes, this is 'hate speech' because I hate you. I hope your last memory is of gagging on a shotgun barrel covered in swine blood."

The End

To be Sexy, Looks Aren’t Everything

Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney is arguably the most handsome 2008 candidate for President. Why does that matter? Because John Kennedy, Bill Clinton (with the help of Al Gore), Ronald Reagan, and George Walker Bush all gained votes because of their looks at the time of running. The video age makes the importance of sex appeal in a national race unavoidable, and so does the rise in female voters. (This is not to pick on women; in 100 years when we regularly have female candidates competing in presidential primaries and races, there will be even more attention paid to their looks by male voters. Meanwhile, polls have regularly been conducted in the past few presidential races about which candidate would give us the best looking first lady.)

So why aren’t his great features helping Candidate Romney? Because his Mormonism is wiping away any hint of sexiness that his photogenic image could possibly arouse. Romney is coming across as a stereotype: at age 60, he’s been married for almost 40 years to a woman he met in high school, and he has five children, all boys (well, men now since he has 10 grandchildren). He is seen as squeaky clean to the point of creepiness. It’s not his apparent devotion to his wife that is a turn off; certainly many women find our current President’s love for his First Lady admirable and becoming. But Romney’s upstanding monogamy appears to the public (fairly or unfairly) not as a result of passionate love for his significant other, but as a product of his religion. Everything seems a little too perfect and church-programmed to the point where we’re all wondering if he’s got another wife tucked in the attic somewhere. (His wife, Ann, by the way, was raised Episcopalian, but she converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and attended Brigham Young University after meeting Romney. )

Of course, lack of sex appeal despite appearance isn’t Romney’s only problem. He has flipped, flopped, and flipped on abortion. And, although many supported his overall reasoning in preserving marriage as being between a man and a woman, he looked indisputably foolish when, as Massachusetts Governor, he invoked a law from 1913 that was written to restrict interracial marriages to prevent out-of-state same-sex couples from marrying in Massachusetts. Speaking of Massachusetts, there is the issue that if nominated, he would not even be able to carry his own state.

All is not lost for Governor Romney, however. Hugh Hewitt has written a book defending Romney's supposed weaknesses and showcasing his impressive resume. The Mass. Mor. Rep. Gov. also seems to be the favorite candidate of The Ingrahammer, who often has him as a guest on her show, and Lady Ann, who unofficially endorsed him at CPAC. We'll see. In the meantime, if you still want to lust after this Stanford, Harvard Law, and Harvard Business graduate based on his sheer incorruptibility, all I can give you are these nice, clean pictures. I guess there is still that drive among some to want the unattainable (maybe Romney himself suffers from it).

See related post.

Tammy Bruce: Internet Confessions

I decided to lift a few entertaining comments that the masses have made public about the Dark Dominatrix of American Nationalism. Here are some quotes from blog commenters, artichokies, and citizens of the United States of Tammy:

Ideologically speaking that woman is quite sexy.
-Theworldisnotenough on February 22, 2007 at 1:08 AM

I SOOooo **HEART** Tammy.
She is THE SINGLE MOST LOGICAL VOICE in the New Media. Her credibility almost above question and even as a Democrat lesbian she can call a spade a spade. What is not to love…AND she’s easy on the eyes. (Don’t go there guys…)
-seejanemom on February 22, 2007 at 9:09 AM

It’s nothing I’m proud of, but I find her fairly sexy in general.
Yes, I’ve read her bio. So no need to pile on here….
-Anton on February 22, 2007 at 11:50 AM

[All 3 of the above taken from hotair.com]

Tammy Bruce is on CSPAN giving a lecture and I'm getting wood watching her! I think Larry's going to leave me and go chase after her.Jimmy, I MEAN IT! If you don't get her book "The New Thought Police" I won't be your friend any more!!!!!
-vraiblonde
[ from Southern Maryland Community Forums]

Tammy Bruce sounds like my ideal woman. According to Dave at Big News, she is a classic liberal, a non-conformist opposes hate crimes, political correctness, is pro choice, gun-owning, supports civil unions, and believes in equality for all.
Oh yeah she is a lesbian, so I'll stop gazing at the photo on her website.
Posted by David P. Farrar on July 3, 2005 6:05 PM

The lady's a PIMP.Yum.
-BooKittyRadley (3 months ago)
[Youtube comment about a video of Tammy at the Maryland Fair in 2006]

C*******8(10:01:57 PM): tammy says shes never really been anyones bottom.. so what exactly is the duty of a top ?

C*******8 (10:02:15 PM): and will she ever take turns ?
C*******8(10:56:26 PM): why is she so damn hot ? there is no one else like her in the universe
[AOL IM, the "innocent" have been protected here]

Yes, indeed. And might I take the opportunity on this totally miscellaneous post to say that I love how when she is talking about former Deputy Secretary of State, Richard Armitage (who disturbingly enough gave the commencement speech at my Texas A&M graduation), she pronounces his last name "armitish." Her little Irish-lesbian lisp is so cute.

A rare, younger picture of
Sheriff Bruce from 1996,
when she was still Prez
of LA NOW. (She is finishing
the word, "armitish.")

Watch Her Watch the Market

Who's that charming lady with the country accent we started seeing on Fox News business programming in 2001 and are seeing more and more, no doubt because there were many viewer requests to "see more of" her (which, naturally, could have more than one meaning.)?

Her name is Dagen (pronounced "DAY-gan") McDowell and even after living in New York City for over a decade, she hasn't lost that tiny-tobacco-town Virginia accent. Media types often train reporters and correspondents to lose their rural accents because they say viewers find them distracting, when, in fact, their true motivation is their hatred for all things "southern." But we see in Miss Dagen's case that there is something endearing--if not downright sexy--about her drawl. Plus, she seems to have some cute quirks: she told an anchor in Studio B (a sub for Shep) that she loves to play videos games to "get away from people" [there's always a special place in my heart for the asocial] and she admits to watching trashy tv. As a most important supplement to all of this, she's got dark, shiny hair. No, her politics have not been fully elucidated...who cares?

Click here for five minutes with Dagen, which includes a video. That's probably the closest you're ever going to get.

Easy to see why the Dow is up.

Not Cewt

Why is the Republican base clamoring for a conservative but wincing when they hear the name Newt Gingrich? What makes Newt Gingrich’s three marriages look bad while Rudy Giuliani’s are only mentioned in passing? Newt did have an adulterous affair with a woman during his time as Speaker of the House, but that woman is now his wife. Yet she is hidden from view because when the public looks at her, they still see her as his mistress. Meanwhile, The New York Post splashed the image of Rudy and Judy in a lip lock when Giuliani announced. The photo was controversial, only because it was seen as “too sexy.”

Why this double standard? Dare I say it has to do with Newt’s unattractiveness? Of course, I dare! This is Prowess, not some self-censoring sissy site. Former Speaker Gingrich is a brilliant man and adept historian, but that can’t make up for the fact that he’s a pudgy professor with a nerdy, non-resonant voice. The disgust over his affair is not so much moral outrage, but the kind of nausea we get when we imagine any overstuffed, saggy Washington insider having sex. We, the shallow, seem more willing to let slide affairs and multiple marriages when the offenders are better looking. When someone like former Speaker Gingrich is involved in sexual misconduct, on the other hand, we just grimace and wonder “Why?, How?, Eww, nevermind! ” For someone so blessed with a creative mind, it is difficult to find a redeeming quality in Newt’s physicality. It’s not in his nasal tone and certainly not in his name.

"I am not a stud."

The harsh, unfair reality of the video media world and E! TV culture is that homely candidates for office only go so far, especially in presidential races. It’s one reason Governor George Walker Bush beat Senator John McCain in the 2000 primaries and why JFK made it, RFK would have, and Teddy never did.

Newt was a great fighting dog in Congress and hopefully will continue to be a strong behind-the-scenes player and thinker in the conservative movement, but he is no more ready for his close-up now than he was in 1994.

Big Ole Bill O'Reilly

Say hello to William O'Reilly, the very tall native Long Islander and best dressed man on television who can be quite persuasive when he's angry.

A few years ago, a former Fox News producer accused Bill O'Reilly of sexual harassment. The case was settled out of court, but not before The Smoking Gun published the complaint with all of the juicy details of what O'Reilly supposedly said to this woman over the phone. While it was wrong for Bill to say these things to her (if indeed he did) because he was her boss at one time and he was married with a child, if she was as "revolted" and "disgusted" by his comments as she claims, she would have hung up the phone when he started. Instead she allowed the conversation to continue to a, er, happy ending and even let Bill talk to her for a while afterwards. Looks like she was egging him on.

The Smoking Gun, which appears to be run by left-wingers but is still a fun site, thought they were really going to do in Bill by posting this document, but a funny thing happened instead. Women logged on, started reading the alleged phone sex transcripts, and were saying "Yeah, that sounds pretty good. He can do that to me any time." He does, after all, have a very nice voice. So rather than the instrument of The Culture Warrior's demise, this complaint became the one of the best pieces of erotica we've seen involving a political figure. It certainly painted a more pleasant mental picture than The Starr Report.

So for all of you who want Bill O'Reilly's big hands all over you, here is the document for your reading pleasure: the naughty stuff starts on page 14 and goes to about page 17.

Mr. "O", trying to explain the significant spike in loofa sales after this was released.

Beautiful Prophet

If you look at this beautiful, stylish, charming, well-spoken, multi-lingual Lebanese-American woman, you may get the idea that she has lived a charmed life, that she had a top-notch education, that she probably came from money and never had to deal with any of the trials and tribulations most of us regular folk do, that she might have a sharp mind, but has not had much experience in the big, bad, dangerous world of Islamic terror about which she speaks and writes.

If it weren't so horrific, it would be funny how wrong you'd be. Brigitte Gabriel's name and story should be shouted from the rooftops, but if you aren't able to do that, please read her book, Because They Hate. You may have trouble sleeping at night (as I did for the first time as the result of a book when I was reading it), but her message of how radical Islam is suceeding in conquering the West, as it conquered her native country, is one of the most important of our time.

She is an even more fantastic speaker than writer, so here is the must-watch speech she gave to the Heritage Foundation.

Why I Stand by My Ann

For those who want my commentary on the Ann Coulter "controversy" at CPAC, I think I sum it up pretty well with my comment at Tammy Bruce's blog as "ASHLEYMATT".

After that, one more point:
The fundamental fact about Ann Coulter that all liberals and some uppity conservatives fail to see is this-- she is as much a brilliant and creative comedian as she is an intellectual writer. In fact, I've never read another author who so seamlessly flows back and forth between skewering humor and earnest, cerebral analysis. So seamlessly, in fact, that her jokes are apparently over the heads of many who don’t even realize she is jesting in the first place. To the indignant ones who say they are disappointed that Ann Coulter has sunk to the left’s level: you don’t get it, she is so far above their level, they don’t even understand her satire. If you take everything she says literally and need everything explained to you, you are not ready for Ann Coulter’s work.

Now to heart of this post: Some have asked me why I am so loyal and defensive when it comes to Ann Coulter. There are certainly many political figures I admire, in fact some I follow more closely than Lady Ann, but my fidelity to her is much more personal. Everyone is asked growing up who their heroes are or whom they idolize. For me that answer was always the same: No One. There was never any adult I wanted to emulate, none I saw as a model of what I wanted to become. That is until I started reading Ann Coulter. In her words, I discovered all the qualities I want for myself: spiked wit, ab-tightening comedy, poetic satire, intellectual prowess, and, most of all, absolute fearlessness. Because of her, I went from appreciating and following politics to wanting to be a part of them. I had found my hero.

What lies in the deepest, darkest recesses of the public's mind, Ann Coulter exclaims in her first paragraph. She cannot be tempered. She truly enjoys and derives encouragement from her critics. Liberals continue to believe that her unparalleled nature will make her an outcast; instead it has made her a millionaire. This is not the first time Ann Coulter has said something that made leftists and elites hysterical, and it will not be the last.

And as I did this time, when I hear or see her jolting words, I will gasp, shake my head, and then crack a smile and say, "That's my girl."

P.S. If you want to like Ann but are afraid of her "over the top" comments, I'd like to refer you to two of my favorite columns of hers, examples which illustrate that she lives both to smite liberals as a talented comedian and to give clarity and insight into situations as an intellectual conservative: 2003's "With Half His Brain Tied Behind His Back" and 2005's "Come Back, Liberals!".

Something About Michelle

I have noticed that when I'm telling people about Prowess, and I ask them for suggestions on whom I should feature, I hear: "Michelle Malkin!" before I can even finish the question. Almost everyone (male and female) I have contacted about Prowess has mentioned Michelle's name before they come up with any other women.

Damn, Malkin, apparently you are hot stuff. It's not hard to figure out why. There are so many ways to count: your brilliant and often hilarious columns, your bold books, your fantastic news and video site: Hot Air. And then, of course, there was the way you cursed on "The O'Reilly Factor" and (when questioned) were able to immediately come up with an innocent reference to candy. That was so cute!

Too bad O'Reilly bleeped it.

Here's lookin' at you, kid.